Grounded in differing societal experiences, influenced by disparate but similar idiosyncrasies of the African-American experience, my parents led with unique perspectives in attempting to raise my sister and I. My mother, rushed out of Cuba as my Grandfather and all U.S. military families were evacuated during Castro’s takeover, would be raised by a family that would eventually earn financial stability. My father, having parents with lineage and experiences relative to the history of Slavery in the deep South, was raised by a proud, working class family. My parents parted ways when I was 12.

Much of my pre-teen and teen years were spent deep in life lessons…struggle is an amazing teacher. We struggled for many of life’s basic necessities. I would eventually make choices that created additional struggle. There was a time I would blame those around me for the struggles of my childhood. I would go on to blame everyone but myself for early adult decisions which added to my struggle…my theory being, “I wasn’t taught any better by those who should have told me“. Little did I know at the time, I was being taught the most important lessons…I was immensely blessed.

I liken it to an intense workout. While the person without challenge has current comfort, the individual deep in intense training gains in strength for later use. My family had given me all of the necessary foundational keys…things I would need to draw upon for the remainder of my life. Whether intentional or not, I was then blessed with real world experiences at a young age, strengthening my will, grit and resolve. All along, I was being given a gift…I just didn’t know.

As was the “Beloved” character in the 1987 novel by Toni Morrison, I saw life’s challenges from my youth as haunting elements, creating perpetual struggle. It wasn’t until I grew in maturity that I recognized the reality of it all; I was blessed and highly favored.

I pray that we all are able to refactor our perspective on personal challenge to see the gift in them.